Sunrise to Sunset in the Subway

A bunch of ladies and I loaded into the car yesterday afternoon to hit the Subway in Zion National Park. It was a quick trip. We arrived at the hotel around 5 pm, picked up our rental equipment, and then enjoyed dinner at Oscars. Of course, we stayed up late gabbing and woke up bright and early to catch the shuttle.  We had to have someone drop us off as we were hiking from top to bottom and needed to have our car waiting for us upon exiting the hike.

The Subway hike is only 10 miles, but we got lost. Yep, we failed to consult the map and spent the first 3 hours wandering around a rugged mountaintop. I finally asked to see the map and lo and behold, the directions were pretty clear. Had we pulled it out at the beginning we could have easily navigated our way, but now that we were certifiably lost, I decided to take charge and lead us all on a bushwacking expedition to where I felt the trail would begin. We all circle up for a word of prayer and then we cut down a cliff. It was fun and hard and so rewarding to finally come upon a cairn. We figured from here on out we’d be set. It was now 11:11 am and we began at the trailhead at 7:34 am. The sad thing is that we were only 2 miles into the 10 and we’d already wandered 5. BUT, we didn’t care because we were all together and we still had sufficient time to do what we came to do.

There is so much to share about this hike. The scenery was incredible. The rappels were amazing, but the women were the best. Honestly, we encountered some tough stuff and everyone handled it so epically. There was no whining, backbiting or fighting. I LOVED seeing everyone’s stellar character shine through. I was just amazed and grateful that I had such incredible friends.

We ended up hiking out in the dark and we got lost again–okay we were still on the trail, but we thought we were lost–but we made it back in the nick of time to return our gear, secure our discount, and head safely home. We hiked over 13 miles total and for over 13 hours. haha. It was quite the day. The drive was long and I arrived home at 2:15 am Tuesday morning and was asleep by 3 am and back up to start the day at 7 am. Gonna need a nap 🙂

Check out these amazing pictures of us hiking sunrise to sunset in the subway!


Compliments to the Cook

Tonight we had the best FHE ever! We all went down to visit T in the hospital. My kids have been begging to go see Tyler ever since he came home. Tonight was finally the night.

I told Rebecca I would grab her kids and bring them down with us and dinner. My first thought was to just grab pizza and then I figured a nice home cooked meal would probably be better. I imagine they’ve had a lot of fast food and pizza the past few months. I’m so glad I went with my gut because Tyler never stopped gushing about how delicious it was.

I made a cream cheese chicken sauce that we served over rice. We had salad, french bread, and then chocolate chip cookies for dessert. I knew Tyler would love the cookies as he loves any dessert. He kept asking for seconds and after 3 cookies Rebecca told him he’d better be done. That was when he started using his Oreo coaxing on me. He looked right over Rebecca and said, “Janelle, can I please have another cookie?” How am I supposed to say no to that? I had to look away. He kept asking. Finally, he said, “Okay, just one-half of a cookie?”

I couldn’t tell him no so I suggested that we all go for a walk and then he could have one when we got back. He liked that idea and so we all went out to the labyrinth where we were able to wheel his chair around and around. It was fun. And yes, the instant we returned to the hospital, he asked for his cookie. Fortunately, someone had polished them all off while we were out and about so I could legitimately tell him there were no more. He was crestfallen so I told him I’d make it up to him by bringing homemade brownies the next time I came to visit. He said, “That will be perfect.”

Such a fun night with my favorites. Here are just a few highlights from my FB post recording the night:

FHE with some of our favorites! I have never had so many compliments on my cooking. Tyler still loves food and the steroids make him super hungry. He told me to bring him some svêlo to suppress his appetite lol. He likes going for walks and I like watching Rebecca take such good care of him. To me, she’s the miracle! I am so impressed with her faith, optimism, sense of humor, and strength. Jane bought Tyler a cancer bracelet. He let her put it on and said he might not take it off. He’s the best! Always so thoughtful and kind. He asked all about KickFire and today they did let him get on his laptop. My heart jumped for joy when I saw him like my Facebook box jump post. He begged me for more cookies and I reminded him that last time I almost killed him with the Oreos. He said it was totally worth it! He’s getting stronger every day and he did make Larry (his dead left arm) slide a few inches on the table. Guess Larry isn’t all the way dead! He misses you all and cannot wait to go home. He’s still so much fun and so kind. Cancer can’t keep T down. #fighter#FunTimes #FHE @ Intermountain Medical Center

Love you T! Thanks for all the compliments to the cook! Still great at making me feel like a million bucks! xoxo

Groovy Grooming

Tonight was a lot of fun. Me, Page, Jane, and Gwen had a little party while the boys attended the priesthood session. We went shopping, got some dinner and then decided to groom Thor.

It took us a solid 2 hours and it was pretty strenuous. Thor was a good sport, and I no longer consider $60 to be too much to pay our groomer lol.

I am grateful I was able to spend that time in that tiny bathroom with Page. She is such a fun girl. Thor looks great now, and best of all, he’s sleeping in her bedroom for the first time. I like the idea of him being able to stay inside during the winter. I feel so sad sending him outside when it’s so cold. He really is the most delight animal. God is really great for sending him to us.

It’s late now and I’m tired. I’m really looking forward to my dreams tonight. I can’t help but think I might be shaving a god all night long. Oh and I’m really excited about tomorrow morning for we are going to see the largest gathering of monks in the history of Utah. The Buddhist temple in Ogden is being dedicated and they are having a huge community celebration. I’m sure I’ll be writing more about it tomorrow. Good night!

Papa Cal

Today I was able to attend the funeral services for Cal Richards, affectionately known as “Papa Cal.” He truly was a Mountain of a Man and the spirit felt was amazing!

Three stories that I shared with my children last night that touched me were:

When Michelle was in college she played an April Fool’s Day prank on her dad. She pretended she had wrecked his brand new Yukon. Her father paused on the phone, took 2 deep breaths, and replied, “I’m so grateful no one was hurt, and I’m so grateful you had the courage to call and tell me.”  No explosive outburst, just genuine concern for the welfare and character of all involved. That’s darn impressive.

Second, when Papa Cal was in residency his parents and younger sister came to visit. They went to the beach for the day. Papa Cal’s sister, 17 years old, was swept away and drowned in the ocean that day. They searched all day for her and as the rescue party disbanded they offered a prayer wherein it began with “We are so grateful for this day. . . ” Impressive.

Finally, Papa Cal was a vet. One night he rushed to the hospital to meet a young mother with 3 children. Their beloved dog had been hit by a car and had a bad break. Dad told the woman it would be best to put the dog down. Jake, his eldest son, who was 5 at the time, went in the back room with his pa wherein he begged him to save the dog. He cried, “I’ll pay for the surgery. I know you can save him.” Both had recognized the poverty of the woman before them and Cal explained to his son that the mother needed to take the money she would spend on the surgery and buy shoes for her children. Papa Cal cared deeply about animals, but what’s neat is he cared more about humans.

There were so many stories I loved hearing that touched me deeply. Papa Cal owning myriad pairs of hiking boots–one of which sits right here by my side as I type this post–I feel honored to have it in my possession and plan to keep it as a reminder of how I’d like to climb my mountains. Papa Cal never stopped summitting. He didn’t feel well the last 25 years of his life as he battled liver disease, but one would never know it. He laced up his boots every day, went to work, and served spectacularly. No doubt he’s loving this next adventure.

I can’t wait to give Michelle the gift we put together. I’m so grateful for the inspiration that came as I pondered what would be most meaningful and comforting to her. I knew it was cool, but after yesterday, I know we nailed it.

Here’s to blazing new trails Papa Cal!

A True Treasure

Last night my mom gave me the best gift ever–a true treasure. For my birthday I asked her to draw me a yellow-breasted finch. Check it out:

My mom is an incredible artist and I’ve been begging her to paint me a picture for quite some time. I finally got clever enough to ask her for it for my birthday. I told her to just sketch me a quick yellow-breasted finch. I wanted the yellow-breasted finch because they are one of my special spirit animals. Whenever I go for my morning meditation walks, yellow-breasted finches appear. It’s one of the ways God or spirit communicates love to me.

It will now be a symbol my mom can use when she crosses over to the other side to let me know she is near. Spirits often use animals–esp birds, butterflies, dragonflies, and ladybugs to let us know they are near. I have cool experiences like this every day and today was especially full of them. Before heading out for my morning walk, I listened to a quick devotional by Dr. Wayne Dyer. He shared the story of how he was able to obtain the butterfly on his finger for his front cover picture on Inspiration

He was outside meditating and working on his book, when this butterfly came and landed on his finger. It sat and played on his finger for quite some time, and after about 30 minutes he finally figured he should obtain a picture.

I LOVE Dr. Dyer. He’s one of my mentors and since he’s already on the other side, I invite him to teach me in my dreams. He often appears imparting words of wisdom. Last night was one of those nights. He was at a whiteboard working a complex algebraic equation. I asked him why his equation was so long (to me the algebraic equation symbolized all his light and learning–his collected wisdom) and he looked at me and replied, “It comes from a life well lived.” I then asked him if that was a book of his, and he told me to go google it. Upon awaking, I did, and discovered a tribute about him called, “A Life Well-Lived. It was a wonderful read to start my Sunday morning.

So you can imagine it was no surprise when on my morning walk a beautiful monarch butterfly caught my eye as it flew immediately alongside. Dr. Dyer taught me long ago, that whenever animals in nature come exceedingly close to pause and take note of whatever I’m thinking. At that moment I was deciding once again in my mind to not have my chest and ovaries surgically removed. The butterfly flew right up alongside me in that precise moment and I took it as a sign that I was once again making the right choice for me at this particular time.

Later, as I was expressing my gratitude for all my many blessings and thinking about God, life, the spirit, and how it communicates with me, I felt something on my neck. I reached back and when I brought my hand forward, there on my finger was a spotless ladybug. It crawled around on my finger for over a minute, till I finally–like Dr. Dyer–had the thought that I too should take a picture. So I grabbed out my camera and as I went to snap a shot I said to the butterfly, “it would be really cool if I could capture a pic of you in flight.” And this is what he did:

Pretty epic huh?! I think it was actually Dr. Dyer using that ladybug to communicate with me. Or it was God once again affirming his love for me. I’m choosing to believe it was both. And regarding yellow-breasted finches? Well, my mother now knows how special they are to me so I have no doubt she’ll make use of them whenever I’m out and about to let me know she is near. And now and in the future, whenever I see one, I’ll think of her and how much she and God love me. And hopefully whenever she’s out and about and sees one she’ll think of me! Now, that’s a true treasure!

T Time

Today was one of the happiest days of my life! I was able to finally see T! It has been over 3 months since I last saw him and it was a most joyous reunion. One I never want to forget. Here are some pics and videos that say it all:

I had so much fun with him today! I’ll never forget making him do his exercises and him telling me that I just made him pee himself. I was feeding him Oreos too and he started to choke and we were laughing so hard. We talked about business. I showed him the Obtineo video and he loved it! He loved our event landing page too. Rebecca was there for a good hour and then had to leave. She amazed me! She was handling everything with perfect equanimity and grace. She is a miracle for him right now too!

I was so glad I was there when the Neurologist showed up. She told Tyler about his diagnosis. I was able to hear her tell him that he had a good square inch of his frontal lobe removed. The area that controls his executive function. I knew he had a tumor the size of a racquet ball removed, but I had no idea they had removed some of his brain. I told Rebecca and she also did not know. The doctor said he would begin radiation next week and that his prognosis was not good. She said he would most likely not ever walk again and would be confined to a wheelchair and had a year if he was lucky. Tyler told her he had 4 kids. She said she knew that. I was rubbing his back and arm the entire time. I was SO grateful to be there holding him up as he received that news.

I told him who cares what the docs say.  I told him that if God wants him dead, he will die. If God wants him alive, he will survive, and even thrive! He looked me in the eyes and said, “I’m not afraid of death.” I said, “I know. And I’m not afraid either.” I told him to remember our pact. He asked what our pact was. I told him we promised each other we’d come visit each other after we die. He said yes and then we shook on it. 🙂

Tyler thanked the doctor for telling him the truth. He said no one had told him yet that he had stage 4 brain cancer and that he was going to die.

After the doctor left I told him we are all going to die. He laughed and we both made jokes about dying. It was fun. It changed nothing and yet it has already changed everything. But that change took place over a month ago when I first heard about his tumor. My heart knew then, as it does now, that Tyler is 100% in God’s hands. There’s not a better place to be. I’m going to support and love Tyler on this journey. It’s going to be a fun one for all of us. He’s so damn tough. And he’s just the best guy ever so when he does die, I’m not worried about him one bit. He’s already pure as gold. Thank you God for today. Thank you God for Tyler.

We told each other we love each other at least 5 times. I’ll never forget my T time today.

Oh and how fitting that once I got back to my car, FB posted this photo to my timeline:

Divine Serendipity!

Bring Him Home

My writing today consisted of putting together this press release in an effort to Bring Him Home!

World Renowned Inventor of Donald Trump Ball and KickFire Classics Toy Line Stranded and In Serious Condition

Emergency efforts are underway to transport partially paralyzed Tyler Seamons back home for medical treatment in Salt Lake City, Utah

Tyler Seamons, COO KickFire Marketing, was living the dream this summer as he worked abroad with his family of 6 in his beloved Italy. In late July, two weeks before their scheduled return, Seamons awoke with a crushing migraine that led to violent vomiting. Tyler was rushed to the hospital where an MRI revealed a mass the size of a racquetball in his frontal lobe. Emergency surgery was scheduled where 95% of the tumor was successfully removed. Unfortunately, the diagnosis came back as Stage IV brain cancer–glioblastoma.

Janelle Page, KickFire Marketing CEO, declared, “The news is devastating. Tyler Seamons is not only my right-hand man, he’s also my business partner and best friend. I’m still in shock! I miss him terribly and can’t wait for him to get home. We need him, his four little children need him, and all the those who have come to love Ty the Diabolo Guy, Phil with Juggling Skills and Rick’s YoYo Tricks, need him too!

Tyler Seamons has quite the resume. From lead singer in a local rock band to world renowned inventor of the wildly successful Donald Trump Magic 8 Ball, Ty the Diabolo Guy, Phil with Juggling Skills and YoYo Trick Rick has youtube channels with over millions of views and hundreds of thousands of subscribers. Parents and children around the globe have come to count on him for tutorials such as “how to juggle 3 balls in under 5 minutes,” “how to do the elevator with a fixed axle Chinese diabolo,” and “how to construct a cradle with a blue recluse non-responsive yoyo.”

The news of Tyler’s diagnosis sent shock waves through his family, company, community, and many fans and followers. “Getting him home for treatment is our top priority,” claimed sister and CFO KickFire Marketing, Tiffiny Appelbaum. “It has been remarkable to watch everyone come together to help. The generosity and support from people have been incredible. I can’t thank everyone enough for all their efforts to help us financially and try to arrange transportation. The cost to get him home on a medically supervised flight where he can lie down (as he can’t sit up right now) is upwards of $60,000. The donations are helping immensely.”

Tyler Seamons has given the world so much, it’s no big surprise everyone in the world is giving so much in return to help bring Mr. Seamons home. To make a donation, please visit Tyler Seamons’ YouCaring page here, or any America First Credit Union – every contribution counts, and Mr. Seamons is not yet done giving.

The Best News is that our campaign to Bring Him Home is coming together quite nicely.

Meltdown Moment

I had a meltdown moment today where I pretty much acted like a 4-year-old. I got so overwhelmed with all the never ending work and problems that I told Tiffiny and Cory that I’m done! I said I was sick of busting my @$$ and doing a [email protected]%&load of work and I wasn’t going to do it anymore.

And then I went to back to school night, made dinner, talked with a friend and went on a family walk. It helped that we read Jim Gaffigan’s book about food for scripture study and had a couple minutes of good belly laughs. I’ve been back at my computer for the past 2 hours and made some serious progress so I’m feeling much better now.

I really should have used my meditation skills and taken some deep breaths. I feel so much stress and all I want to do is say swear words. They feel so therapeutic. I’m especially fond of the D word right now. I say it over and over in my head all the time. I’m a little worried that I’m never going to be able to stop. The only other way I know how to work out these crushing feelings is to exercise, but I can’t exercise all day long. I did play basketball for almost a solid 2 hours today. SO AMAZING! I think I’ll go play again tomorrow. Basketball and biking got me through my divorce and I feel that it will help me survive again now too.

Well, I had better wrap things up and get some sleep. I feel like I’m a single mom all over again with these crazy insane late nights and freaking early mornings. I’m worried that if I keep working like this I’m gonna get cancer next for sure. I try not to think negative thoughts like that, but it’s hard to avoid them when everyone I love is dropping like flies.

Good Night. I hope I can avoid any further meltdown moments unless of course, they are good for me. I imagine it’s just my way of coping. . . it’s probably better than some of the other ways I’ve used in the past. Do perfect people not have to cope? Or is a perfect person someone who’s had enough hard stuff happen that nothing really rattles them. I mean I have to admit that because of certain experiences, I’m better equipped to handle certain situations than other people. I think the only reason this is proving so taxing and emotional is because it’s all so new, novel and heavy! I’ve never really lost my best friend and business partner all overnight. It’s been a brutal blow for my business and for my friendship.

Back on the Box

I spent a lot of time thinking about T last night so it was no surprise that I woke up thinking about the shin guards he bought me right after my missed box jump. I was working in my home office when the UPS man dropped off a package from  I opened it up to discover a set of McGregor shin guards. I figured it was a new client sending us product for professional photography. I messaged the team in slack and asked who sent the shin guards. Tyler chimed in that he sent them to me as a gift so that I could get back on the box!

I knew exactly what I needed to do. I got up, got the kids off to school, got in my gym clothes and headed out to my gym. I pulled out the box, untied my shoes, put my shin guards on and then faced off my box. Honestly, I was scared as hell. I’ve jumped out of a plane and that was hard. And this face off produced the same sort of hesitation. My brain didn’t wanna do it! I told myself that if I missed it wouldn’t be nearly as bad as the last time for the shin guards would protect me. Plus, I felt that my battle was symbolic. My brain was rebelling against me just as is T’s.

T wanted me back on the box. I want him back too. So I set aside my fears, gathered my gumption, and jumped with all my heart.

Gwen captured the moment perfectly! And I cleared it by a mile! It felt so good. I’d be lying if I didn’t confess that I was crying.

And then I proceeded to do 30 more! I crushed my WOD. Thinking about T the entire time! I love him tons. I’m glad he had the foresight to get me these shin guards. He gave me the courage and motivation to get back on the box. I know T, if it’s up to him, will fight this cancer with all his heart. If it’s God’s will that he lives, he will. T is a rare breed. He’s got courage, integrity and strength. I have always affectionately called him the Lion of the Lord. He’s a mighty man of God and goodness. And today, we figured out a way to get him home. Because of the many donations from kind and caring people, and an extremely large donation from a non-profit ($25k), we are able to purchase 8 seats on a Delta flight to get him home for treatment. People are good. God is good. Tyler has many friends. It reminds me of the show It’s a Wonderful Life when all of Jimmy Stewart’s friends stepped up to help him pay off his debts. We have raised over $19k on a gofund me site and the $25k from the non-profit will get him home where he’ll be back on the box! 🙂

Cussing and Crying

This morning I found out that Tyler Seamons has stage IV brain cancer–Glioblastoma. It’s not a good prognosis. Without chemo and radiation, he has 3-6 months. With it, he may last 12-15 months. Now, I know God is a God of miracles and he can cure Tyler completely, but it feels like it’s not my place to ask. Feels very selfish to beg for him to be allowed to stay. I wouldn’t be begging for me. . I’d be begging for his kids. They need their father. And Rebecca needs her husband. Sure, I want my business partner and friend, but I do know that he’ll be with me daily as I steer this ship and manage our KickFire Crew.

I’ve been cussing because I’m mad. And crying cuz I’m sad. I was just looking forward to cutting back my crazy insane workload and Tyler got sick and went MIA. I haven’t slept good or stopped working for days. Really not that much different than before, except I’m working a whole lot more. . .and I didn’t think that was humanly possible. I guess I’m also a little mad. Mad that Tyler gets an out and I’m stuck here to clean up this mess. I’m the one who never wanted to run a company and here I am . . doing what was his dream, not mine. I’m feeling more stuck than ever. I don’t need this job. I have hundreds of other opportunities I want to pursue. I was fine doing this with him, but now I am feeling a bit abandoned. Damn I miss him. And Damn I don’t wanna do this!

And then I when I think of running it all without him, I cry. I cry because every day I will be reminded of how much I miss him. And I don’t want to be reminded of how much I miss him every single day. I feel like my heart won’t be able to handle it.  And then I know I’m just being dramatic and a bit of a baby. Because the reality is, I love him so much that being reminded of him daily will be rather rad. I’m already smiling now as I think of Ty the Diabolo Guy and our Svêlo shoots. I’ll never be able to hear Andrean accents without busting a gut. I’ll have some many ways to remember my T-bag.

It’s midnight. I need to make some lunches and go to bed. Tomorrow is the first day of school and I haven’t stopped running ALL day. The house is a disaster, the inbox is full, and my day tomorrow is JAM packed! God bless America. Let’s get Tyler home and let’s get me some sleep! xoxo