Facing Fears and Flying High

I awoke this morning at 3 am and couldn’t immediately fall back to sleep. So I tossed and turned and eventually started meditating in an attempt to fall back to sleep. Soon enough I began having an out of body experience. It has happened several times before and always begins with the tingles that commence at the top of my spine and rapidly spread. As the tingle chills spread and increased in intensity I felt my body begin to lift up off the bed.

In the past, this sensation has caused me to panic as it feels like some spirit entity is sinking into your body, trying to take over your soul. I am always unable to speak and sometimes my tongue is literally bound, but I’m always able to command the spirits to depart in my head using my thought voice, but last night I was not afraid and instead of panicking when I could not speak, I started singing in my head, “I’m flying, I’m flying.”

By reframing my experience from one of some evil spirit trying to possess my body to simply a paranormal dream paralysis experience, I was able to turn what used to be a horrifying experience into a lucid dream thrill. I lifted up off my bed and started soaring around my bedroom. After making a few complete revolutions, I returned safely to my bed alongside Matt. I still felt like I was flying on my bed in my dream so I started trying to tell him “Look at me, I’m flying, I’m flying” hoping he would wake up and see that I was having such a cool dream.

Wake up he did (in my dream), and I too, woke up a level. He pulled me out of bed, removed my mouth guard so I could speak, and as we were sliding along the floor I noticed it was Mike, my former spouse, not Matt. Mike slid me into the bathroom where I had the distinct impression that he was luring me into a trap. I felt impressed to incapacitate him before he could tell the person hiding in the shower behind the curtain to kill me. So I shot him with my handgun (literally, I put my hands together in the shape of a gun like a little kid playing and while pointing my “hand guns” at him I said, “Bang, Bang!” He fell dead.

The shower curtain slowly began to open and my instinct said, “Run!” But I immediately reminded myself that I was dreaming and that I should instead face my fear and try to uncover what it was that was trying to harm me. So I stood my ground. The shower curtain revealed a woman with dark hair my age. I asked, “Who are you? And why are you trying to kill me?” She didn’t answer, she simply put her hands together in a gun and said, “Bang, Bang!” I immediately replied, “You can’t die in your dreams!” And then the realization that this was true and that I had faced my fears and overcome them caused me to start dancing around in the bathroom while singing, “You can’t die in your dreams!” The lady scuzzed me and shut the shower curtain.  I still don’t know who she was, but Mike stood up off the bathroom floor and made his way to the shower as if he were going to shower now too.

This dream is important to me because it symbolizes my newfound power. I am no longer afraid of my nightly encounters. My dreams have helped me overcome my fears of death–I had that powerful awareness come during a lucid dream in Lake Tahoe with the intruder at the foot of my bed, and now I feel that last night gave me the experience I needed to overcome my fear of the spirit(s) who have been visiting me at night. I realize now they cannot hurt me nor do they want to.

I can’t help but think of the FDR quote, “The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.” I also was able to prove to myself once again that I’m not afraid to die. I can look fear and death in the eye and say, “Why are you here? Why are you trying to harm me?” Death turned away in this dream just as it will in life if it is not yet my time. I’m grateful for my experiences of last night where I was able to realize the power of Facing Fears and Flying High!