Life Review

One of the hallmarks of near death experiences is the life review. Every account I have read includes some type of the following:

Heading toward some type of bright light

Beholding being(s) of glory

Overwhelming sense of love

Life Review

Near death experiences also change those who experience them. Their priorities change and they become less materialistic and more spiritual. They realize that there is nothing to fear in death and this deeper understanding helps them live life fully.

When I consider the common characteristics of a near death experience, I’m inclined to ask, “what, if any, of the above commonalities, can those of us who have never “almost died” experience?

I’ve felt moments of incredible love. Those moments were impactful. I also conduct “Life Reviews” regularly. In fact, I grew up doing a form of a life review every New Year’s as I examined the prior year and set goals for the year forthcoming. Each Sunday, as I partake of the sacrament, I think of my actions during the week and consider ways I can improve. And daily, before I retire to bed, I examine my day and look for areas I was less than stellar. I also look for times when I did myself, God, and others proud.

I’m a firm believer that we don’t have to wait till the day we die to examine our lives. We can enjoy the peace and improvement life brings when we play judge and jury daily–even hour by hour and minute by minute.  Self-awareness improves behavior best. When we look inward to uncover motives and seek to understand why we engage in certain behaviors and why we feel certain ways, we will create opportunities for change within ourselves. Today was a good day. I am already conducting a life review. I was able to handle some pretty intense professional and personal conversations in a mature manner. I was able to spend some quality time with my family, and I had a total blast playing basketball with my friends. I can think of a few areas where I could have done better and I’m exploring my reactions now so I can do better next time. I don’t think I will go so far as to claim that the “unexamined life is not worth living,” but I will say, “an unexamined life has little chance of improving.”

Here’s to conducting a daily life review.

Shadows and Light

I wrote yesterday about my dream and conversation with a friend and promised today to write more about my dream and what it means. Today’s post is entitled Shadows and Light because yesterday, when I awoke, the lingering words in my head were:

Remember to position things in the best possible light and to always look at things from every angle. Changing the light changes the shadows and creates a whole new picture.

After my dream scene where we were in a classroom trying to position objects in the best possible light so we could shade the shadows and such, my dream shifted to a new scene where my husband was wearing a trench coat. He opened up his trench coat to reveal myriad pockets sewn on the inside full of wares. He reminded me of some bootleg seller on the streets of NY.  I wrote theses words in my dream journal:

Things are not always as they appear. You have to open up and look inside–look at things in a different light.

My dream scene shifts again to me in my garage gym doing sit-ups. The following thoughts course through my mind:

Fast and efficient or slow and controlled?  Which is better?

I write that there is a time, reason, season and purpose for both approaches.

My next scene is my husband cutting his thumb with my big black buck knife. He’s checking his blood just like a diabetic would do. Then there is a lady pointing to her arm where you draw blood and she is telling me to get over there and get my blood drawn. I know what this means. My primary care doctor says my thyroid is off and I need to get my blood checked. I made an appt today to get a comprehensive blood exam with Dr. Knight. I was planning to have my cancer doctor do it when I go in for my check up next month, but the lady said to me, “You must arrange blood work months in advance. You can’t wait until the day of.” This makes me laugh because that was my plan. I was just going to show up and have Dr. Colona do it.

I want to remember the following ideas from last night’s dream:

Remember the different approaches to life–fast and efficient vs. slow and controlled–and when/how to use them.

Always cast things in the best possible light and remember the role of light in casting shadows. Perspective and angles change everything.

There was another dream scene that tied both of these together. We were at a political event. My uncle was up for re-election and his wife was casting the other candidates in not the best light. I really didn’t want to vote the way she was directing us, but since she was family and friend, I took one for the team and cast my vote accordingly. Which also made a lot of sense considering the dream scene before this one. I was in a baseball game and it was my turn to bat. My coach wanted me to bunt, but I knew I could get a good hit. I had done a great hit the last time I was up to bat. I decided I’d better listen to the coach and take one for the team.

I would love to walk away from KickFire sometimes now that Tyler is gone, but I know he needs me to hold it all together now more than ever. I have decided to take one for the team. I don’t really wanna. . . but I will hold down the fort and I will position the situation in the best possible light. 🙂

The Best Possible Light

I had a really cool dream last night. I woke up thinking “Remember to always position things in the best possible light.” It had everything to do with the conversation I was having with a friend before I went to bed, and definitely, applies to myriad other situations going on in my life.

My friend is going through a divorce. Divorce is hard and so emotionally draining. Stress and worry about the finances, the children, and the future run rampant. I wouldn’t wish it on anyone, but once it comes, it’s best to not resist, and trust that all will work out for the best. Life, and God are good like that. Everything always works together for our good, and everything is always as it should be.

My friend was having an especially rough day and texted me for some comfort. I want to put some of my words here for safe keeping as they were truly expressive of the many things I have learned through my divorce and current role as co-parent.

Janelle Page:

one thing I learned from my divorce–that continues to bless me–is that everything always works out, and everything is always as it should be

everything works together for our ultimate good

Friend:

Yes thanks for those kind words

Janelle Page:

God loves us all so much

he wants to bless us and he wants us to be happy

Friend:

That gives me strength

Janelle Page:

so while this time is very hard for you right now, there is so much goodness coming down the pipeline. . . sometimes all the sludge and crud has to get pushed through so the still, pure waters can come pouring through

Friend:

That means a lot to me.

Janelle Page:

It means a lot to me too

I’m grateful we are friends

you are blessing my life

Friend:

Me too. You are amazing

I look up to you

Janelle Page:

reminding me of some of the hard times makes me remember how blessed I’ve been and continue to be

Friend:

You are so encouraging

Janelle Page:

it’s kind of fun to think that the Lord brings people into our lives at just the most perfect times.

I always tell my kids there are no coincidences… .unless you define  a coincidence as a circumstance in which God chooses to make himself known

Friend:

Ooh. I love those sentences

You are right. You came into my life at this time for a reason.

Janelle Page:

As did your husband. We are all teaching each other important lessons… Your husband–and soon to be former spouse–will continue to teach you some of the most valuable lessons of your life. He will show you how strong you are and help you to become an even more incredible woman.

Friend:

Wow you are amazing

Janelle Page:

And you will very soon be able to see him as such. Once all the anger and hurt subsides … .compassion and love will hold strong. It’s okay to be angry, hurt and emotional for now–so totally normal and needed. I believe you’ve got to grieve the death of your relationship, and what you had hoped to be your future.

Friend:

Love for him?

Janelle Page:

you still love him

or else you wouldn’t be so mad at him and hurt

Friend:

Yes, I see

Janelle Page:

people who we don’t care about never cause us this much pain

Friend:

That makes sense

Janelle Page:

you invested so much time with him. He’s a part of you, and your children

Friend:

Yes. That’s true

Janelle Page:

but don’t feel like you have to be there yet. .. just remember our conversation when you are 5 years down the road 😉

Friend:

I can’t even look at him

Janelle Page:

totally normal

and not wrong or evil

he’s hurt you and your children

and he isn’t showing any remorse

that’s hard

Friend:

Yes 😢

Janelle Page:

and now he’s being a butt. . demanding things that seem so unreal and so unfair

so hard to keep giving when you’ve already given so much

Janelle Page:

just remember that everything will work out. . .this too will pass. . . God is at the helm and you will continue to thrive. . . you have always made your life happy and that isn’t going to stop now. . so come what may and you will still love it!

You aren’t going to let him take away the only thing you really have. .  your power to choose how you will react in any given situation. . .this is still your life. . and it is just about to get even more epic now that you are finally able to know what direction the both of you are moving. .. away from each other where there has been too much pain and manipulation, toward freedom, and a chance to redefine the relationship for the better

Friend:

That was great advice. I will be re-reading these texts from you every day

Janelle Page:

Just keep praying for the Lord to lead you along and He will. You will know what to do, and things will work out

Friend:

Thank you!

Janelle Page:

the Lord wants what is best for your children too because let’s face it. . they’re his children

and he cares about them more than you

I don’t mean that in a mean way. . I’m just saying they are ultimately his

He’s super invested

so you can take that to the bank and put it in his hands

He knows ultimately what will serve you, your husband, and your children best in the end, so you keep listening to that Holy Ghost and doing what He says, and then, whatever happens, will be just as it should be and just how God wants it to be

Friend:

That is a wonderful way to think

Janelle Page:

you will feel all the better for it. .. and when you really want to tell him what you think and where to go. . come punch my boxing bag or scream into your pillow 😉

Friend:

sorry to keep you up thanks for the great advice you really brightened my day

Janelle Page:

I thoroughly enjoyed EVERY single minute! Thanks  for thinking of me and for sharing your struggles. . .a shared struggle is so much better than struggling alone. Thanks for reminding me of all I’ve learned

xoxo

Friend:

Beautifully said ❤️hugs

I know time will heal

Janelle Page:

yes time heals all wounds.. .. or maybe it’s just that when the pain lessens we are better able to see

it’s really hard to look around and see all the good things when our leg is gashed and gushing blood

in this case. . it’s more like our heart is gashed and gushing blood haha

it’s not just a flesh wound

(monte python quote) 😉

Friend:

So well said.

Good night 💤

Thank you!

Thank you!

Thank you!

Janelle Page:

xoxoxo .. . . . . it’s the worst feeling. . . I know. . . . I wish I could take it from you. . . just know I’ll be praying for you and wishing you SWEET dreams. .

and I’m sorry you have to go through this. . .but I’m also excited for you

Friend:

I am serious seriously going to read these text every time I feel these emotions and I’m going to use them for strength thanks again

❤️😍

Janelle Page:

it’s hard. ..  but everything hard I’ve ever done has always paid incredible dividends. . .

Friend:

I will have faith

Janelle Page:

me too! This is a totally treasurable thread!

Faith is something you have!

Friend:

You made my day

Janelle Page:

and just remember it is okay for your faith to falter. . in fact, it is when your faith falters, that Jesus really rescues. .

just think of Peter walking on the water. . .

it wasn’t until he despaired and started to sink that the Savior reached forth his hand to save him and lift him up

Friend:

Amazing truly amazing

Janelle Page:

sometimes we are too hard on ourselves and expect ourselves to behave perfectly. . . go ahead and be mad and doubt and get scared and worried.. . the crazier it gets, the more fun it must be for God. I have to imagine He loves the crazy. . because then His miracles appear even more AMAZING!

GOD LOVES THE CRAZY! 😉

post that on your bathroom mirror

Friend:

😂😱love it

We will talk some more soon thanks again. And I know it wasn’t an accident that you came into my life

Good night

Janelle Page:

right back at ya my friend xoxox I’m so in your corner! sleep tight!

And then my epic dream and the words I awoke with totally on my mind:

Remember to always position things in the best possible light!

I will expound on what exactly that means and my entire dream in tomorrow’s blog post.

Suspending Reality

Today was so much fun! I took the kids back to school shopping. We spent 7 hours going all around Farmington Station and the Layton Mall. I LOVED letting the kids pick out their own clothes. It was so fun to watch them be all independent and grown up. They each have their own unique personality and style. And they are so confident and self-assured. I love it!

I think that must be how Heavenly Father feels about his children. He loves watching us discover our interests, figure out who we are, what we like, and what we have the potential to become. He loves being with us as much as we love being with our kids. He appreciates when we talk with him, think of him, and tell him all about our day. He loves being a part of our lives.

I had so much work to do yesterday. In fact, ever since T went MIA with his Brain Tumor, I’ve had double the work–and I was already working more than I wanted. It has literally become impossible to stay on top of everything and so it was with great pleasure that I set aside my work worries and went and enjoyed some shopping with my children. A good friend of mine said to me the other day, “We can’t manage time for it is fixed. We can, however, manage our priorities. My children are more important than my career.

We all went to dinner at Cafe Rio to celebrate my birthday. I’ll be turning 39 on Wednesday. I bought the girls dinner at Chick-Fil-A, Luke dinner at Five Guys, and Matt and I ate Cafe Rio. It was fun to let everyone get what they loved. I think I suspending reality is really good for my soul. I’m going to do it a little more often.

Talked About Beliefs

Well, I just talked about beliefs and it went really well. I was pleased with where spirit directed my thoughts and with how well it was received. The audience was all nodding along and giving me out loud comments like “Amen” and “oh yes.” The real-time feedback was super fun.

I LOVE old people. First, they have so much wisdom–gleaned from time and experience. Second, they are just like little children in that they blurt out whatever they are thinking, and they talk super loudly. When I held up the picture of the old/young lady, some of the audience saw the old lady and some saw the young lady. I asked them who was right and who was wrong and it couldn’t have been

When I held up the picture of the old/young lady, some of the audience saw the old lady, and some saw the young lady. I asked them who was right, and who was wrong? It couldn’t have been more perfect because this adorable, old lady in the front row said, “There isn’t any old lady!” I said, “Well half of the audience insists there is.  Are you saying they are wrong?” She didn’t answer the question, but simply said, “I just don’t see it!”  I held up the picture higher and asked her if it would help if I bore my testimony that I knew there was an old lady in there? I said, “I testify that there is an old lady in this picture for I know this to be true.” I was being dramatic of course to make a point and the point was well made and well received.

I held up the picture higher and asked her if it would help if I bore my testimony that I knew there was an old lady in there? I said, “I testify that there is an old lady in this picture for I know this to be true.” I was being dramatic of course to make a point and the point was well made and well received.

I immediately shared Bertrand Russell’s quote about “I would never die for my beliefs because I might be wrong.” And then we discussed that it is our behavior, not our beliefs that make us great. I shared the part in my blog post from yesterday about Gandhi, Martin Luther King, Mother Teresa and Jesus. It was their love that changed the world. The spirit zinged through my soul, and as I shook every single person’s hand after the sacrament meeting, many told me that was a most wonderful message and how much they loved and appreciated and agreed with it. They thanked me for helping them see something in a totally new way. It meant a lot to me to know that what has enlightened me, also enlightened them.

I closed my message by sharing my love for them and thanking them for sharing their love with me.  I enjoyed sitting up front and looking at them through the remainder of the meeting. I could see all their light. And after the meeting, I shook each and every one of their hands and asked their name and had some sort of lovely exchange. It fed my soul, and as I type this, I realize that my behavior of staying, shaking hands, and sharing compliments was what made me great today–not my words. I confessed my love in my talk, that is true, but those words were indelibly impressed upon their hearts by my actions thereafter. I did not premeditate any of the after meeting actions, and it is only now–as I write–that my heart warms with delight for I realize that I did not speak today in vain. My actions matched my message.

Talking About Beliefs

Looks like I’d better start talking about beliefs because tomorrow I’ve been asked to give a 10 min talk on honoring and staying true to your beliefs. That’s kind of an interesting topic for me to consider because personally, I believe that beliefs are fluid. They are always evolving and changing with time and experience. What I believe today is different than what I believed yesterday, and what I believe tomorrow will be different than what I believe today.

Some of my favorite thoughts on beliefs include:

I would never die for my beliefs because I might be wrong.

~Bertrand Russell (British philosopher, logician, mathematician, historian, writer, social critic, political activist and Nobel laureate)

Confidence is silent. Insecurities are loud.

And of course, Morpheus is always profound:

In response to captain who said, “Not everyone believes what you believe”, Morpheus replies: “My beliefs do not require them to”

Your beliefs don’t make you a free thinker. Your ability to change your mind based on new information does.

Beliefs are interesting things. I can tell you what I believe and some of it may ring true to you and some of it may not. I may believe that BYU is the finest university with the finest collegiate teams. You, however, may believe that the U of U is.  Who is right? Who is wrong?

Here’s the reality. I grew up a die hard Cougar fan. My father bled blue, and so did my entire family, until my dad became a professor at the U of U, my brother attended graduate school there, and the Huntsman U of U Hospital saved 3 of my family members from cancer. With time and experience, our die hard belief that that the Cougars are the best has changed.  We now love the Utes just the same. Who changed?

So when it comes to beliefs, I don’t know that giving a talk telling you to “honor” or be “true” to your beliefs is really the most important message that can be given about beliefs because how do you know your belief is more valid than someone else’s? I think any worthy discussion on beliefs must begin at the beginning. One must ask, “How are beliefs born?” “What determines an individuals’ beliefs? Have you ever asked yourself that question?

Beliefs are products of our nature, nurture, culture (societal, religious, familial), life experiences, geography, etc.). Have you ever wondered how your beliefs would differ from what you hold to be true today had you been born in a remote village in Nepal, India? Would you be sitting in a Mormon Sacrament Meeting today? What if you had been born an Eskimo in Eastern Siberia? Would you believe seal blubber to be the finest delicacy on the planet and prefer the freezing cold to the infernal heat? Check out this image:

What do you see? Who is right? Who is wrong? Those who first saw the old lady, were you right? Now that you see the young lady are you wrong? Or are both of you now just “enlightened” because you all now see more. Beliefs really are lame to talk about since we don’t really see things as they are, we see them as we really are.

You see, I don’t see a whole lot of merit in discussing the importance of standing for and honoring your beliefs because frankly, I don’t think beliefs are what make people great. No, I believe that it is our behavior, not our beliefs, that make us great. And the greatest way to behave is in LOVE. Love is the sine qua non (sahy-nee kwey non) or essential ingredient in greatness. Was it Martin Luther King’s belief in racial equality that made him great or was it the way he led the civil rights movement in love that inspired a nation to change? Would his “Dream” to “Let Freedom Ring” have inspired hearts had he bombed and blasted his way to greatness? No, Martin Luther King’s legacy lives on because he led in love. Gandhi was no different. His belief in a united, free India is not what made him great? No, it was his love for his fellow man. And what of Mother Teresa? Was it her belief in the Roman Catholic faith that made her great? And the way she defended those beliefs? Or was it her loving service that made her a literal saint?

Again I ask, what makes a man or woman great? Their beliefs or their behavior? Their religion or their love? Jesus, teaching on the shores of Galilee, said, “As I have loved you, love one another.” In the Sermon on the Mount, he proclaimed, “Do unto others as you would have done unto you.” And again, he spoke, “The first great commandment is to Love God with all thy heart, might, mind, and strength, and the second is like unto it, thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself (on these hang all the laws and the prophets)”. To which a lawyer responded, “Who is my neighbor?” Jesus answered by sharing the story of the Good Samaritan. He concluded by asking, “Who of these three was neighbor unto him who fell among thieves?” To which the lawyer responded, “He that shewed mercy on him.” Jesus responded, “Go and do thou likewise.” Isn’t it interesting that it was the Pharisees, lawyers and scribes beliefs that kept them from seeing God when he came in the flesh as their savior?” Brothers and Sisters, if we are not careful, our beliefs can likewise prevent us from seeing God in the flesh. Our brothers and sisters are all divine beings, offspring of the Most High. It isn’t our beliefs that matter. It is our love, for God is love, and are we not all god’s in training?

May our beliefs lead us to greater love and I am now done talking about beliefs!

Morphic Fields

Holy fetch my mind is fascinated with the concept of morphic fields. I first came across it in the book about the God Spot called “Where God Lives.” The author introduced the concept of a universal consciousness. I had never heard of that before. Basically, it’s this idea that our memories and experiences exist and are stored outside our brains. This scientific hypothesis was formulated by a man named Rupert Sheldrake and is called Morphic Resonance.

The hypothesis is a heated topic. In fact, Sheldrake’s TEDx talk on the subject was “banned” (in his words) or demoted from the TEDx site to the TEDx blog (in their words). You can find his 18 min. talk here.

It’s easy to see why the scientific community is not a Rupert fan. He’s an outspoken critic of their methodology. His warm reception by the New Age and Psychology communities is not surprising either. His insights are intriguing, and I think worthy of discussion. Anyone who has experienced ESP or precognition, near death experiences, ghosts, revelations, etc. may find his ideas thoroughly enlightening. I mean what if it’s all just semantics and “spirit” “energy waves” “morphic resonance” “holographic memories” “universal consciousness” “holy ghost” are one and the same.

I’m planning to spend more time studying morphic fields, but for now, I wanted to share this thought that made a lot of sense concerning the universal mind:

The morphic fields of mental activity are not confined to the insides of our heads. They extend far beyond our brain though intention and attention. We are already familiar with the idea of fields extending beyond the material objects in which they are rooted: for example magnetic fields extend beyond the surfaces of magnets; the earth’s gravitational field extends far beyond the surface of the earth, keeping the moon in its orbit; and the fields of a cell phone stretch out far beyond the phone itself.

Likewise the fields of our minds extend far beyond our brains.

~Rupert Sheldrake

Cold Hard Facts

Well, today just ain’t been pretty! I’ve been digging through my partner’s inbox trying to get up to speed on the half of the business he oversees and my head is a hurtin’ and my tummy is a turnin’ at what I’m a finding. We’ve got ourselves a toy business that barely turns a profit. In fact, once I figure in all the expenses, it’s a major loser. It has been sucking the profits out of my marketing company and that just isn’t cool, but them are the cold, hard facts I’m a facing.

The good news is that we have a ton of inventory. I’m hopeful that we can sell it all over the next few months–esp. during Christmas. The bad news is, Christmas is still 5 months away and the storage fees for our goods are NOT cheap. When I think about what this all means it makes me want to cry. But I’m not gonna cry because I trust that the universe already has what we need in store and in fact, that it is already on its way. God is good like that. Plus, we do great work, and we have created some most excellent products. We’ll have a lovely Christmas, and then I will decide whether or not to keep the toy business. I can sell it, or heck, with the way I’m feeling today, I may just simply give it away! haha

The cold, hard facts are never fun to face, but tackling them head on feels quite empowering.  I’ve been so slammed consulting and selling that I left this part of the business to others. Not a wise move Mrs. CEO. So, lesson learned, and now it’s time to get this train back on track.

It will be a good challenge for me to try to come out ahead of the game because right now we are super cash poor and inventory rich. I’m not okay with that. Like it makes me super sick. Alas, I’m not going to worry about it yet. Instead, I’m off to dream about a more profitable future because the cold, hard facts are: It can only go up from here!

Natal Chart

I’m having so much fun exploring my astrological birth chart, also known as a Natal Chart. It’s far more comprehensive than just your zodiac or sun sign reading. Here is my Natal Chart reading from micheleknight.com and it explains me to a T:

Anonymous Sex F
Ogden, UT 49 United States 16/08/1978 09:06 – Julian day 2443737.13
Timezone -6.00 ST 5.17 Lat 41.13 Long 111.58

LEO

Anonymous’s sun sign describes her basic, most inherent personal nature and sense of self, it is how she identifies herself in relation to the world around her.

Some keywords that will help you understand Anonymous:

*Dramatic
*Individualistic
*Proud
*Vibrant
*Aggressive
*Self-centered
*Passionate
*Powerful
*A leader
*Confident
*Noble

Every Leo possesses a bit of the sun and each has a unique way of radiating her sense of self and her power. Born with a Leo Sun Anonymous promises to be dramatic, colorful and passionate.

She will be proud, oftentimes regal and will not mind being the center of attention and may, in fact, crave it. When an external spotlight does not appear Anonymous has no problem creating her own and will do so through drama, melodrama or a grand display of her talents.

One of Leo’s inherent traits is her pride. She supports this strong need for self-esteem by who and what she has around them. Hence, Anonymous draws her own sense of self from her friends, her lovers, the beautiful things she owns. This helps explain why she will tend to be so focused on appearances – hers and others.

Like the powerful male in a lion’s pride or the equally powerful alpha-female a Leo takes care of the people she has invested her heart into. She is fiercely protective, usually effuse in declaring her feelings and showers loved ones and lovers with gifts and trinkets, baubles and goodies. That can be a problem when her financial reality does not back up her need to lavish attention through her purchases. When Anonymous feels good about her life she feels good about herself and there is nobody brighter or more joyful to be around. Her optimism is contagious, her ability to lead and motivate is empowering and she attracts others like moths seeking a flame.

When Anonymous does not feel good about her life she finds it difficult to feel good about ‘self’ and the opposite of the bright, radiant sun-self surfaces, a dark, lonely being lost in the shadows of despair. A despairing Leo is a melodramatic Leo and everyone around them knows about her troubles.

In a relationship: Anonymous will want to show off her partner’s best side and loves nothing more than a date out in the big, bright world where others can notice them. Leo’s are playful, deliciously indulgent lovers and she has the ability to make her partner feel like the most magnificent person on the planet. She loves getting gifts and she loves giving gifts. Anonymous needs to be remembered and a surprise goodie is the perfect way to honor that. Anonymous will tend to tolerate dramatic displays from a partner – getting attention even if through a loud, passionate argument is better than getting no attention at all. She will not tolerate being ignored, feeling unappreciated or taken advantage of. An angry Leo is a force of nature that has no equal. Leo has claws. Leo is not afraid to use those claws when angry or defensive.

The Moon Sign helps you understand how a person will react in an emotional situation. It defines the manner in which she deals with her instincts, her self-protective nature and how she both nurtures and is nurtured.

Anonymous will be cautious and serious about investing herself emotionally. Heart affairs are serious matters and seldom pursued for frivolous whims or attractions. She will need to feel there is real potential behind a connection before she is willing to make an emotional investment.

Capricorn Moons can be calculating. A partnership must serve Anonymous’s long-term agendas and plans. Feelings are seldom “just feelings” but instead are tools that help achieve important goals.

When worried Anonymous will retreat and reflect. This Moon sign tends to disconnect when it feels threatened. She will protect herself by attempting to control and manipulate the external situation. She never forgets a wound – but can learn to forgive one.

Anonymous will always have an idea and that idea will tend to be big, bold, and showy. Conversations can quickly focus on “self” and self-involvement.

She is a strong, courageous thinker and may have profound leadership abilities. Has a way of stating her intentions in such a confident, self-assured manner that others easily fall into agreement.

she can be verbally bossy and won’t easily – or happily – follow someone’s else’s rules.

May be extremely outspoken.

Anonymous is a romantic creature with a deep appreciation for all the beautiful, poetic attributes of love. Dislikes coarseness, disharmony and harshness. Seeks to create a peaceful, balanced union.

She prefers a partner who can tune into her own personal needs and make choices for “both” that are appropriate to those needs. Will not be comfortable when forced into a decision and is usually skillful at sidestepping it.

Atmosphere and physical surroundings are very important. A romantic evening should be as artfully and aesthetically arranged as possible.

You may never really know with any certainty when Anonymous is moving after a goal. Her actions are quiet and geared towards making as few waves as possible. She invests her personal energy best when the waters around her are calm and when she has a clearly defined goal to attach to.

Unfairness and injustices (personal and transpersonal) are, however, capable of creating sudden fierce actions on her part. She is driven to bring equality into play.

A creative outlet can be a brilliant tool to harness her passions and ambitions.

Can find it hard to decide on a course of action.

Anonymous believes that expansion begins at home and looks there for support, understanding and generosity. Wraps her belief systems in a traditional framework. Needs to feel she is an important, supportive part of her loved ones lives.

Anonymous can be an obsessive worrier or may rebel against even the most practical concerns and become wild spirited and carefree. May become compulsive in regards to her diet and fitness regime or will cast them all aside without a second thought. She can become hypercritical if she feels her personal decisions are coming into question or if she is forced by circumstance to change her habits and routines. Needs to learn moderation in areas of personal health, fitness and in the caretaking of others. She can nurture a remarkable vitality through a good sense of humor combined with the right intent in regards to keeping herself healthy and fit.

Can make a compassionate, self-sacrificing healer with profound recuperative powers.

Anonymous belongs to a peer group that catalyzes societal change through the drastic input of sometimes volatile individuals and extremely focused group affairs. How the world deals with sexuality also experiences sweeping change. New diseases can surface which, in turn, breeds advancements in the field of medicine and health.

Anonymous expresses self through shared interests, altruistic concerns and her friendships. Needs to feel involved in positive change. Searches for a sense of life purpose through ideals and her ability to achieve something for the good of others.

Anonymous’s emotional body finds expression and comfort through her creative outlets. She may be a natural artist who channels her feelings into the treasures she creates. Often takes emotional risks.

Anonymous’s most important thoughts will be kept extremely private. Intuitive and resourceful. Enjoys problem solving on important worldly matters of a spiritual or altruistic nature. Feels most comfortable applying her ideas behind the scenes.

Appearances are important to Anonymous and she cares how others see them. Wears her heart on her sleeve. How her partner looks matters to Anonymous and she is more than eager to make-over and restyle her current romantic interest. Enjoys introducing her partner to others.

Anonymous is active, energetic, highly competitive and not afraid to act on passions, desires, ideas or needs. Believes in going out and getting what she wants. Inspires those around her to become more active. Chooses a physical approach whenever possible.

She has a strong need to be involved with others of like mind. Enjoys humanitarian ideals and objectives. Usually has excellent leadership qualities when she believes in the cause. Friends are drawn to her supportive, encouraging aura.

Anonymous will tend to put strong limits on her personal dreams. She is seldom comfortable with her intuitive body and finds practical, logical ways to apply intuition or instinct. Has immense gifts of intent, focus and self-discipline available to those in need. Works most comfortably behind the scenes in a setting where something is being done for the “good of all”. Psychic abilities are possible.

Anonymous experiences extreme changes in her personal finances at different periods through out her life. She can move from pauper to millionaire back to pauper back to millionaire. May earn her living income through unusual methods or in unusual ways. Can be an impulsive spender. Has unusual tastes in personal collections.

Dreamy, creative and usually talkative Anonymous may find it hard to stay focused on any one subject. Will tend to have considerable literary talents but must find a realistic way to focus and utilize them. She may promise far more than she is capable of carrying through with. Learns by osmosis. Prefers intuitions to cold, hard facts.

There is an unmistakable intensity about Anonymous. Her eyes may be deep and penetrating, the kind of eyes that seem to see through all the veneers of situation right to its truth. She will tend to be in control of her immediate environment and everything from the way she moves through her manner of conversation speaks of power. Yet, she is probably not comfortable in any kind of spotlight and will tend to remain on the sidelines, ever watchful.

Sun in Conjunction to Mercury

Communications come easily to Anonymous especially when it involves expressing her own ideals, needs, desires and ambitions. Others tend to find her sincere when speaking her mind. A dynamic conversationalist with a gift of words – even if she becomes a little self-focused from time to time.

Venus in Conjunction to Mars

Passionate, sensual, highly proactive when it comes to love and romance. She is seldom shy about her needs and enjoys a physically active partnership. May possess powerful artistic talents including those connected with performing.

Mercury in Conjunction to Saturn

A strong, critical thinker capable of applying discipline and common sense to complex matters. Anonymous is probably not fond of small talk or conversations that seem to have no point to them. Adept at putting things together. Loves an intellectual challenge.

Venus in Conjunction to Pluto

Sensual, charismatic and sexually intense. She has deep, smoldering desires and believes in the power of her sexuality and sensuality. Usually unshockable. Has a very strong attachment to her intimate fantasies which also run on the intense side. Magnetic aura. Tends to be loyal and expects loyalty in return.

Moon in Opposition to Jupiter

Anonymous can may feel out of control of her surging emotions. Tends to experience extreme emotional highs and extreme emotional lows. Often needs to learn to balance how much she gives and what she expects in return from an emotional attachment. Can overreact to disappointments or worries.

Mars in Conjunction to Pluto

Anonymous possesses the kind of personal power and magnetism that makes almost any goal achievable. Passionate, ambitious and resourceful. Nothing stands in the way of victory. Thrives on competition when the playing field is equal.

Sun in Conjunction to Saturn

Anonymous tends to take a serious approach to her self-identity and her life during her early years and becomes younger at heart as she grows older. Responsible and self-disciplined. Capable of focusing her personal power to achieve her goals and convictions.

Carries high expectations both of self and others. Is careful in the way she expends her personal energy. Seldom – if ever – impulsive.

Jupiter in Sextile to Ascendant

Anonymous has a larger-than-life persona|personality. Expresses herself dramatically. Her inherent personality traits, her fears, desires and passions tend to be amplified. Has the gift of making others feel comfortable and good about themselves.

When Anonymous opens her front door she “expects” to find a sun-filled, opportunity-rich day await her. If she finds, instead, clouds, rain and darkness she seldom concedes defeat and instead barges ahead ready to make the most of things.

Sun in Trine to Neptune

Anonymous possesses a magnetic, intriguing, oftentimes enchanting personal aura. The people in her life tend to see Anonymous as Anonymous wants to be seen. May be a powerful spiritual role model when the rest of her personalities supports it.

 

 

 

 

 

Uncanny Timing

God has uncanny timing. I’ve been feeling restless–  like I’m not doing what I really want to be doing.

Then my business partner gets hospitalized with a massive brain tumor and I’m stuck trying to hold together that which I don’t really want held together. It’s like I finally have an opportunity to make a change, to get out, but circumstances are such that I can’t really bail–not right now when he needs me most. And I don’t think I want to be 100% out because I truly love the creative work I do, but I do want to cut back on my hours and carve out some time to pursue my own passions. I feel too much a slave to my company–sometimes I want to scream–or sleep. . . ha ha, I think I really just need more sleep.

And then I wake up to an email from one of my favorite spiritual gurus, Wayne Dyer. It’s like he’s speaking to me from the dust–he passed away years ago–and yet his message lands perfectly in my inbox at this pivotal time. His words pierce my soul:

I’ve always had a knowing that whatever I’ve found interesting or exciting or passionate or moving or motivating, there’s a way to make a living at it. It doesn’t make any difference what it is. My son, Sands was passionate about surfing. He was attending college at the University of Central Florida and doing fine, but his whole life was about surfing. He’d get up in the morning and check where the waves are all over the world. I’d tell him he didn’t have to get a business degree now; he didn’t have to go to college in his 20’s. He talked endlessly about surfing—the feeling of being on a surfboard, riding that wave, being at one with the ocean.

I told him there was a way to make a living while following his passion. Imagine yourself there, I suggested, teaching people to surf, working in a surf shop, starting a surf shop, making surfboards, studying oceanography, being a boat captain who takes people to surfing locations. There are endless ways to be connected to your dream, to follow your bliss.

And it doesn’t matter how old you are or how long you’ve been doing something. When I share this in talks, men in their 40’s and 50’s tell me, “I can’t change professions now. I’ve been doing it for 25 years.”

I ask, “Who decided you would be an engineer or a doctor or a lawyer?”

“I decided when I was 18,” they say.

“And now you’re 50? Would you go to an 18-year-old for advice on what you should be doing with your life?”

That always makes them stop and think.

“Not unless that youngster tells you to listen to your bliss!” I remind them.

Joseph Campbell explained it perfectly when he said, “The person who takes a job in order to live – that is to say, for the money and not for purpose or passion, has turned himself into a slave.”

I think that is a really important lesson for us all.