Today was so much fun! I took the kids back to school shopping. We spent 7 hours going all around Farmington Station and the Layton Mall. I LOVED letting the kids pick out their own clothes. It was so fun to watch them be all independent and grown up. They each have their own unique personality and style. And they are so confident and self-assured. I love it!
I think that must be how Heavenly Father feels about his children. He loves watching us discover our interests, figure out who we are, what we like, and what we have the potential to become. He loves being with us as much as we love being with our kids. He appreciates when we talk with him, think of him, and tell him all about our day. He loves being a part of our lives.
I had so much work to do yesterday. In fact, ever since T went MIA with his Brain Tumor, I’ve had double the work–and I was already working more than I wanted. It has literally become impossible to stay on top of everything and so it was with great pleasure that I set aside my work worries and went and enjoyed some shopping with my children. A good friend of mine said to me the other day, “We can’t manage time for it is fixed. We can, however, manage our priorities. My children are more important than my career.
We all went to dinner at Cafe Rio to celebrate my birthday. I’ll be turning 39 on Wednesday. I bought the girls dinner at Chick-Fil-A, Luke dinner at Five Guys, and Matt and I ate Cafe Rio. It was fun to let everyone get what they loved. I think I suspending reality is really good for my soul. I’m going to do it a little more often.
I’ve been having Brain Dreams–all about hurting heads. The first night after learning about Tyler’s brain tumor I dreamt of my computerized piano that I love and it was malfunctioning . .. it’s “brain” was broken and I was crying because I loved my piano and I was telling Cory and my brother Ryan, who were in the room with me, that it can still play and makes the most beautiful music. .. it just has a “Brain” problem right now. I was taking such care to dust it off and straighten up all the papers that were scattered on it (that was so symbolic of me having to sort through Tyler’s emails and figure out where in the heck all the passwords and stuff I didn’t know was etc.) .. . and of course Tyler would be my computerized piano because he is the smart computer guy who makes music and I LOVE my computerized piano. ..like one of my prized possessions
and then last night I dreamt all about Tyler’s wife:
In my dream there was this woman and she was lying on the couch with a headache. . had been taking pills for life support and depression but now her head pain was nothing compared to his and she was telling me how she needed to be strong and not fragile and her trash can was so small but overflowing with trash so I offered to take it out and I couldn’t believe it but we were watching another lady on TV who had her head shaved from a brain tumor and she was covering it with cellophane and was saying how she didn’t look as beautiful anymore on that side of her head. It was all too close to home.
Needless to say, T is on my mind–hence the brain dreams–as is his entire family.
I discovered this quote by John Stuart Mill today and I LOVE it!
The real advantage which truth has, consists in this, that when an opinion is true, it may be extinguished once, twice, or many times, but in the course of ages there will generally be found persons to rediscover it.
What then is truth? Well, put simply truth is eternal. It is whatever is. Reality is truth. You can’t argue with truth. Well, I guess you can argue with truth but it will only make you miserable. When you try to change reality or change anything for that matter, you suffer. Resistance is suffering. Acceptance is liberation. We must learn to accept reality. Embrace it. And finally, delight in it. That my friends is heaven. The ability to love what is. And what is, is truth.
For the enlightened mind, this post makes complete sense. Prior to coming out of my deep sleep, this post would feel like mumbo jumbo gibberish. I do find it interesting that God put Adam under a deep sleep after his creation. . . Did he ever tell him to wake up? Or was it merely arise?